Sick

Beloved blog…

               

Many things happened for the past few months..and too bad I had had not blogged any about it. I was indeed very busy, and the fact that there’s no wireless connection for the internet here (this place is medieval…but even so, I love my place, proud to be a taga Bacalan) adds more. Unli surf plan? Cost much. Just don’t mention about that (I’m not that rich to avail it, but someday I could perhaps).

               

Now I’m not gonna talk about every single crazy come-across I had..but I think somehow I want to blog about my experience being admitted to a hospital. Sounds so typical, isn’t it? But mind you. Not till you go through once. Oh yeah? Alright, talk this way. At the first place I’m actually a scaredy-cat when it comes to hospital, which is why it sounds so dreadful to me. If you think this is silly, yeah well maybe it is.

It started on calm Thursday night (January 31, 2013) when suddenly my chest felt tight, like every muscle and vessel in my lungs were constricted, caused dry cough to me. I didn’t suspect anything, but my mother, (she’s such a keen member in our family) she really told me that she feels something’s wrong with me. She told me that she know it by looking at my face (I think my face was getting pale that time) and by my cough. No break and no joke, she told me that my asthma might strike. No worries I thought. I’ve got salbutamol tablets in my first aid kit. I even took Rubitusin capsule right after to soothe my cough and Neozep for the overacted mucus. Like a good kid I went to bed early without glancing at my netbook or even at my phone.

Mother was right. She knows me. She understands me. She can predict thingamajig and thingamabob of me. Like few minutes past 1 am or so, I was awakened by my heavy wheeze. Back pain. Dayem. Like a nightmare asthma hit on me. My heart pounded. My nose was stacked with mucus.  All muscles felt tight. Everything else seemed cramped. I felt so exhausted. So uneasy. God knows what else I felt that night. With so much effort I rose and helped myself to a tablet of salbutamol. Ma was awaked too. I knew she would. She slept inside my room that night. Without much thought ma decides to take me to the hospital. Noooooo…! I thought. I’m afraid of everything in the hospital. I tried to talk with ma. I tried to sound okay. Ma was convinced, but not assured enough to not to take me to the hospital by postponing it till morning. Okay. At least I might feel better by morning, I thought. And darn…I was not able to sleep that night. I was getting nowhere with salbutamol. My breath seemed so hard to catch. My nose had an endless mucus discharge. My cough was so dry like I wanna puke everything inside my stomach out. My back aches like I don’t know what position would lessen the pain and help me sleep through the night.

Dawn came and I felt no good. I threw up thrice. I look worst. With no second thought ma sent for my aunt to accompany me to the hospital. Probably she was startled with my condition that time. Me too. I didn’t expect it would be that bad. I had no choice but to seek help from nobody but doctor. Off we went to Dr. Henry M. De Villa Memorial Hospital. This is the hospital in Ipil where my family trusted ever since. The doctor who attends me was always Dr. Said Sahi.  In Kinabalu City of Sabah, we used to go to see Dr. Ganesh at his clinic for check up, and Queen Elizabeth Hospital for intensive care.

I felt like dying along the way to the hospital. I grasp hard for air. I didn’t stop praying along the way. I tried not to think about horrible things I pictured in my mind last night. I tried to think positively. All is well. When we arrived I felt like I want to rush in into the ER. We went straight into the ER. OMG this is it. I think this is really the place for emergency cases and even for operations. There are nurses stand by inside. I think they’re assigned for ER and intended to attend for emergency cases. I saw trolley full of cottons (wet with alcohol, ready to be used), thick stack of bandages, scary injecting needles, and other types of needles (for cut sewing perhaps), huge scissors (it looked so sharp, I suppose it really was), etc etc… Inside the ER were also oxygen tanks, chords, beds for patients, thingamajig and thingamabob ready for attending cases. And the smell, the smell inside the ER is sickening. I really felt bad. Horrified by what might happen to me, terrified by everything I saw inside the ER.

A nurse approached us and immediately performing initial vital check up…blood pressure, body temperature, weight and etc. At the same time my aunt, spoke up for me, telling the nurse every single thing. What was wrong, what happened to me, and the interview. You know, I like the nurse attending me. She works swiftly, she is calm, she always wears her smile, and when she recorded my birth date that day  and she realized I just had my birthday, she greeted me a belated happy birthday. Maybe she has a good psychological knowledge, or she’s just good in interpersonal relationship. I felt a bit relaxed and comfortable with her.  Hurriedly she called for a doctor.

Not Dr. Said as whom I expect. He’s not yet around, they said. Any doctor will do. I’m at a critical state now. I felt my chest was about to explode. It’s difficult to breath. I can’t even bear to stand long. Not even able to talk properly. Like I was extraordinarily exhausted. Everything was so arduous and grueling. It was Dr. Henry who attended to me at the ER. He studied my vital sign and briefly asking how I felt. With much effort I answered his questions even it is hard to talk. He promptly send for nebulizer to me. The nebulizing machine was a lil larger than our normal lunch box, and when connected to a source, it will vaporize the medicine (I think it’s salbutamol) inside the whistle-like stuff through a tiny hose attached to it. I was nebulized like three times continuously, and doctor instructed the nurse to nebulize me intermittently starting on the afternoon.

While waiting for the dextrose, a doctor came inside and glanced over the patients inside ER. There’s also baby admitted too. My aunt told me, he’s Dr. Asli (I don’t know the exact spelling), the surgeon of the hospital. He’s mad with I think one of the nurse here. He told the other nurse inside the ER to send the (nurse I guess) to see him. He’s mad because one of the patients there was being sewed without him knowing, being he is the only surgeon of the hospital. Telling the other nurses that he won’t hold the responsibility if something went wrong with the patient because of the unauthorized sewing performed by the nurse. Uuh...how crucial, isn’t it? And then I saw someone who looked so familiar to me. I think it’s Torr, my tsub’s boyfriend. But he looked awful, like I almost can’t recognize him anymore. Were he’s being browbeaten? (Weeks after I learnt that they, both of them, he and tsub, was actually involved in an accident and tsub was also being admitted to the same hospital.)

And here came the dextrose (I don’t really know what you call those liquid injected to a patient through a small hose but they used to call it dextrose). I know it would hurt. The nurse rubbed the back of my palm with wet cotton trying to find a vein for the dextrose to go through my system. I try not to look at the huge needle, but I can’t help. OMG the needle looks so awfully big. The nurse try to put all her smile as she injected the needle inside my vein, but all those smile was no help. The needle was painful trying to go inside my skin. You know, I really don’t want to cry, but what a shame, my tears keep rolling down as the needle being pushed inside my skin. Finally when the nurse pulled the injection I saw my blood goes along and I felt sick to my stomach. OMG I want everything to be speed up so I won’t have to witness each and every single moment of these bloody things.

When the dextrose was already attached and the bandage was being dressed up I felt relieved. The nurse looked at me and looked at the baby crying out loud on the other corner (being injected for dextrose too), and giggled. She said, “Bakit ka umiyak? O pareho kayo ng baby, umiyak din.” Why? The needle is painful and I’m terrified by your needle okay. You think only babies will cry of injections? I just wiped my tears with that thought in my mind. The nurse asked my aunt for ward option afterward and ordered wheelchair for me. Huhu…felt like I’m some kinda senior citizen riding on a wheelchair in her old days. Nooo….! I’m not that old. Just too tired to walk to my ward.

Good that my aunt requested for a private ward. Nice lil ward, with comfort room (it’s the most important feature for me), a cute television and air-conditioner inside. At least I don’t have to walk along the hall to pee or whatever. Later on ma came along with extra pillows and sheets and etc.. The first day was a bad day. Still difficult to catch my breath. Doctor Said arrived and went to check me. He finally ask for oxygen tank and I was oxygenized. Tiny oxygen hose was attached to my nose and I could imagine myself looked like…I don’t care. And the first night was worst. Still I can’t lay down on bed because of my back ached like hell. That evening my aunt called one of my lolo to come, and my back was ‘tiyuktukan’. Puzzled by the term? I just don’t know how to translate it but if you were a tausog or a kalibugan perhaps, you may ask your mother. After ‘tiyukyukan’ I felt a bit calm but each time I cough my back felt the same penetrating pain. Nurses on duty came time to time to check my vital sign and giving medicines. There were these antibiotic where when injected to my dextrose tube I felt a bit pain. And during the first day I was not allowed to take in food for few hours (so grateful, ma won’t be able to force me to eat…I didn’t felt any hunger anyway that time, absolutely no appetite) till they collected my blood sample.

The next day I’m getting used to the routinely check-up and the intermittent nebulizer. But I hate it when they injected me for the skin test and blood sample and repositioning my dextrose hose to the other vein. My skin on one of my vein was swollen, and I think it’s normal. They also collected my urine and sent me for x-ray. Everything is normal, told the doctor. My blood pressure was always normal, my body temperature gave no sign of fever, blood sugar was 97, still normal, normal chest finding on x-ray, and no bad report on my urine and blood test. The usual goddamn bronchial asthma, almost killed me by taking my breath away. I think it’s the overreacting mucus that turned things wrong inside my system.

During the second day I felt a lot better. I asked the nurse to take away those goody hose from my nose which supplied me the vital air to live. Third day it was Sunday and I really wanted to go home. Doctor Said was not around on Sundays. But still he called the nurse and asked about me. He finally allowed me to be discharged after evaluating the report of the attending nurse. He instructed the nurse to give me the home medication sheet though, with a list of medicines and schedule of taking them up. There’s also the schedule of my follow-up appointment with the doctor.

When I went home grandpa was there waiting. I felt like I was a child, palangga of everyone. Mother, father, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, teachers and everyone is wishing me to get well soon. I hope and I will. Now I’m taking further medication (herbal) at home and on a strict food diet. I learnt the cause of my asthma- it’s the disequilibrium of the body. I would take extra good care of my body and goodbye hospital. I was there, and done that but hopefully not coming back again. Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine’s Day!!